Edward vs Jacob
by justinbieber01
Summary: this is totally against my belifs and like religion cuz i luv twilight but whatevs! i figured i would atleast try! luvs didi! :
1. The Great Fight

**Edward vs. Jacob**

One day, Edward was walking back from therapy and suddenly saw a sign that read,

WANTED

Someone that is willing to fight me.

Meet in the park at 12 pm sharp next to the fountain.

Love: Jacob… the WEARWOLF! RAWR! KEEP PAPER HERE!

"Oh goody!" (Edward skipped) "Count me in!" he quickly stuffed the paper in his "man" purse.

As Edward was walking home, he was thinking of things to bring to the fight. He got out a piece of paper and a gel pen, sat down in the middle of the street, and began writing.

"Number 1. Bella; to make sure she sees me win, I have awesome abs "

"Number 2; DO NOT BRING SHIRT; I want to woo everyone, heehee like I really need to try."

"Number 3; toaster, there's never a bad time for toast! "

"Numb" BEEP BEEP! A car was headed straight for him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! A car! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!" he was now crying, still in the middle of the road

"Get out of the way loser!" shouted the driver

Edward jumped and managed to land head first in a pile of dog poo.

"Ooooh! Squishy! Fun!" Said Edward, now rolling in it.

Edward looked at the time and saw 11:55 am.

"Oh no! I have no time to clean up! Oh well, I should probably get going!"

Edward merrily skipped to the park and made it at exactly 11:59 next to the glimmering fountain.

Jacob approached slowly from behing the tree with war paint on. "Hello, vampire, or should I… OHMYGOD! YOU STINK! JESUS SAVE ME NOW! IM WEAK! DYING! DYING! DYING! Blahhh.

Jacob was now on the ground portending to be dead, while Edward was singing.

"Hey, hey, jacob, you wanna hear something funny?" Edward took out his sparkly fake fangs and put them in his mouth. He turned around, and climbed up to the top of the tallest tree.

"I am Edward! THE VAMWEAR! YES! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! WITH MY AWESOME POWERS! I AM VAMPIRE & WEARWOLF! I COMMAND YOU TO ALL SPARKLE SUCH AS ME! SO GRACEFUL! SO MAGESTIC, SO UNICORN LIKE! Ha... haha…. Hahahahaha… muahaha! Haha, isn't that soo funny? Hahaha!"

Edward was now shaking the whole tree and suddenly out of no where, a huge storm cloud hovered over the town, CCCRRRAAACK! BOOOM! SHHHHHHHHHHHT ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

Edward jumped out of the tree but right before he was half way down, a lightning bolt had struck him and turned him into a falling pile of sparkles.

"MOMMY! IT'S SNOWING! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL SUMMER!"

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW I DID! This is my first real fiction story that I have ever wrote, so please REVIEW and tell me any complaints or positive things I did!**


	2. Sing Off miley & eddie

Edward vs. Miley Cyrus

The sing off

**PLEASE REVIEW! luvz didi**

Edward was approaching his high school when he heard a screech from his girlfriend.

"EDDIE! You'll never believe it! I got tickets to go see Hannah Montana!" screeched Bella

"How did you get them? It was a sold out concert!"

"Well… I submitted your name into the sing off and you won!"

"huh? You didn't… OMG! I WILL TOTALLY WIN! NOT ONLY AM I HOT BUT I AM SMOKIN'!" said Edward

"We have to be there at 3 o' clock sharp!"

"COOLIO!" screamed Edward

As 2:55 p.m. approached, Eddie was waiting for his girlfriend right next to the stop sign.

"EDDIE! Im heeeeaaaaarre!" said Bella now managing to trip on a rock and break her nose.

"Sveetums you ok? Well, hopefully cuz its 2:58 and although im the fastest vamwear… I might not make it! I going to have to leave you." Said Edward thanking god for a break from herrr

Zoom zoom! Edward had used his super hawt speedy powers to zoom down to the Aldred Opera house and saw Miley practicing her Brittany look alike moves.

"Can't be tamed! Can't be, Can't be tamed!" sung Miley

"Ms. Montana! I want to be a bird just like you!" screeched Eddie

" Hey! You the winner?" asked Miley

"you betcha!"

"whataya waiting for? Come on we have a sing off to do!"

Edward stood up on the stage and introduced himself to the empty seats and began singing.

"I am going to do my previews of each of my 3 song I have picked for all you today, here we go….. don't wantcha babe, don't wantcha babe, alejandro, don't you wish that you could be a FLY ON THE WALL! This time baby ill beeeee BULLEEEEEEET PROOF!"

As you probably could guess Edward was practical tone deaf, he had managed to kill a poor bird as it hovered over the opera house coming home from work, before Miley could sing she was declared the winner and Edward was arrested and charged with animal abuse and murder because of his voice! Well, you can probably guess Bella won't be paying for his bailout!

**Please review even if you didnt like it! I will understand and I promise ill try and do what the croud wants! If you could pretty please give me advice or give me ideas on what to do with super bieber or this continuous series that would be totally tubular! Yayy! luvz didi**


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